Written by Cameron O’Brien, ACC
If you are around a teenager, chances are you’ve caught the fiery wrath of a teen having an “off day.” As they grow up, it might seem like those days are occurring more frequently. You’re noticing that your adolescent’s mood fluctuates often – and when you ask them what’s going on – they don’t have any answers. This article sheds insight on the source of adolescent moods, and lists five ways you can help teens get their emotions back on track.
Why Do Teens Have Mood Swings?
Adolescents are undergoing physical, social, and identity development at the same time – which is inherently stressful.
Puberty causes hormonal changes that lead to higher stress reactivity and mood swings. Mood swings lead to being more prone to negative emotions, which can contribute to higher rates of aggression and depression. Developing teens are prone to experiencing feelings of irritability, sadness, and frustration from these hormonal changes.
Teen identity development looks like exploring self-expression and establishing independence outside of the family group. The pursuit of autonomy and identity experimentation can be a scary, emotionally-charged experience for teens, which will largely impact their day-to-day mood.
Teens have many demands to meet in their life – from family expectations and academic performance to extra-curricular goals (sports/arts) and social pressure. Anxiety around keeping up in school, juggling multiple activities, or fitting in with a social group can cause teens to be moody as well.
3 Ways Adults Can Help Teens with Mood Swings
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Prioritize Connection
Make sure your teen knows that you care about them, and they are safe to express what they are feeling. If your teen comes to talk, allow them to explain how they are feeling and listen without judgment or problem solving. Be present with them; offer compassion and empathy for what they are experiencing. We were all teens once, and know how difficult it can be. If you see your teen isolating, be intentional about making connections with them. It can be as simple as doing a fun activity together, or even sharing the highs and lows of your day.
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Model Coping Skills
As adults, we have learned to navigate stress and mood swings. Teens may not know how to self-regulate, so it’s up to adults to show them how it’s done. Model coping skills for your adolescent by sharing what it looks like to healthfully express feelings. Share with them examples of when you were in a bad mood, what it felt like, and what you did to change your perspective. Share that feelings are temporary, and can be ameliorated by practicing mindfulness and deep breathing. Another tip is to engage in a gratitude routine with your adolescent. Share three things you are grateful for each day, and have them do the same. Focusing on gratitude allows for a shift in perspective from negative to positive, grounded, and resilient.
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Encourage Self-Care